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My Mother Emily Part Four

kelm lake emily blog part four title

My Mother Emily Part Four

This blog is about the journey my Mom and I are going through, specifically moving her from her home in New York to assisted living here in Cary.

By Tim Murray, Co-Founder and President of Aware Senior Care


Mission Accomplished: Emily settles in Queensbury, New York

I left off in part three about my pending trip to New York to research assisted living and meet my circle of support.  I spent three days with my brothers Peter and Chris and with the help of Eileen Dunn, Geriatric Care Manager of Trinity Elder Care Management & Consulting, I toured two assisted living communities: The Glen and the Landing (a Brookdale community), both in Queensbury, NY.  My mom needs medication assistance and the Landing was the only option as they have a license for CNA’s to give medications.  I toured the Landing on a Saturday and met the executive Director Terry Woodcock.  Terry was very straightforward and frank in discussing the staff and services at the Landing.  He was very accommodating in that he agreed to a trial “respite” stay for Mom, which was perfect for our situation.   Mom made the trip to Queensbury on June 15th and is now settled into the Landing in Queensbury. 

Is she happy?  I think so but she’s nervous.  Once we got about a week away from her trip to New York, Mom started to realize just how nice it is to have Gina and I so close.  Gina has always been there for Mom to help her when she was sick or needed help.  In a way, this is good thing because Gina and I believe the best permanent place for Mom is here in Carolina in a smaller scale assisted living home.  However, our goal was to get Mom to New York to be able to see my brothers and also make short visits to the place she loves and the people she loves and that’s Kellum Pond.  So for now, we feel we’ve fulfilled a wish of Mom’s to get her to New York, but we have the flexibility in that her visit is like a vacation.  If she really loves being there at the Landing, great.  If she wants to come back, which we feel would be the best, great.  Win-Win.

At present, we’re in the process of selling Mom’s home in Warrensburg.  We have a great team helping us.  Neil Bindelglass the owner of Saratoga Senior Move Managers has been great.  Teaming with our great realtor team of Debbie Breton and Cindy Harrigan of Berkshire Hathaway Home services, Neil has staged the house and also will run the future Estate Sale.  The other absolutely key thing he did was manage moving a few of Mom’s items from the Warrensburg house to the Landing.  He set up personal items like pictures on the walls.  He did a fabulous job of making it like home.  I’d highly recommend to anyone downsizing a loved one from the home to a facility to hire a great senior and licensed move manager.

I’ll close and say that both Gina and I feel the best place for Mom is back here in assisted living in Cary.  However, if Mom truly likes the Landing and is happy, then there she stays for the time being.  We feel a smaller assisted living home of about six residents would be great.  Why?  Mom needs encouragement to get engaged.  Left alone she mostly stays in her room.  We feel a smaller home with more one and one time with caregivers encouraging her to do things would give her joy and purpose.   We will see.  Anyone reading this Blog and has gone down a similar path I’d appreciate you sharing your experiences and what you have learned.

Next up in Part five is to report on how Mom is doing at the Landing, the Estate Sale, and our process to hopefully get Mom qualified for the surviving spouse Veteran Pension benefit. Currently, we have an Estate setup with the help of Walker Lambe in Durham, but it’s a revocable trust. 

Tim


Next blog - My Mother Emily: Part Five

This blog aims to help those currently navigating how to take care of an elderly loved one.  For those looking for home care in Cary, Apex, and Raleigh, read the "Why Home Care?" section of our site to see if it's the option for you and take our Needs Assessment.

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